seanbury:

Hey, if I’ve stopped following you recently, here’s why:

1.) blah blah blah

2.) Yada yada yada

3.) talking noises

4.) Is that the wind?

5.) You do not post things that are empirically interesting: Only items about yourself or what you are doing. You are a Braglr.

I know I control my own destiny on this platform — and can unfollow at any time. Which is what I choose to do now. Feelings aside, I just wanted you to know why. If you’re sad that I’m no longer following you, these rules are available for your review any time.

I just think it’s time to stop coddling you.

Dear Sean,

I didn’t see this post. Unfortunately I’ve stopped following you previously to you not following me.

Here’s why:

1)Your unconcious need to subjugate the Tumblr community with your excessive and extraneous rules upon a free peoples and self governing body makes me bristle with thoughts of a Bury run police state. Don’t be a ‘Tumblr Hitlr.’

2) Your invention of the word Braglr should have you fired from the internet. I’ve submitted the papers to do so.

3) Your were elected to plead the case of the electorate to the Viscount. I strongly suggest not becoming the ruling class or you’ll end up up with the blood of the workers all over you. If worker blood is in short supply PETA will throw red paint at you to simulate the blood of the workers. Also PETA wants to ruin your white fur ermine coat, purple fedora and ‘pimp’ cane.

4) Your refusal to duel me last Tuesday at Dawn with Sabres for the hand of Lady Contessa has me branding you a coward. I don’t care how many times you’ve burgled her maidenhead.

5) It’s called a fiefdom not a FIFEdom. Please stop playing your flute at five am on weekdays. It is not appreciated. The Hut Owners association (of which I am head) will take measures.  Let’s go one step farther than being Peasants and be ‘Pleasants’? Yes?