Title: Xavier’s School for Challenged Youngsters

Synopsis: Principal Charles Xavier is having a bad day. He’s up to his ears in mutants!!! Did I mention they’re mentally challenged? Because they are! They can’t do anything right! But they have a scrappy can-do attitude that people will find endearing. Anyway Xavier is trying to keep these mentally challenged mutants from hurting themselves and others all the while trying to defeat MAGNETO! This isn’t ‘Rudy’ so of course Magneto wins. And he becomes the new chancellor of Xavier’s school and Xavier is bumped to headmaster. Which is really disappointing for Xavier because he’s spent his life trying to build up the academy in the first place. It really crushes his lifelong dream.

Subplot: Snotter is the youngest mutant at the academy and he gets picked on all the time. He’s in love with an older student named Contessa DeVille whose mutant power is driving racecars really fast. How will Snotter ever impress her with his ability to blow gigantic snotbubbles at the most inopportune of times? Eventually Contessa DeVille will realize it’s what’s on the inside that counts NOT the outside and she’ll run off and get impregnated by some hack poet.

Why it won’t be made: Kids (the target audience) are cruel and will probably change the ‘M’ in Magneto to an ‘F’ because they don’t realize that words and names are hurtful.