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Why doesn’t the Kool-Aid man shatter when he smashed through a wall with his trademarked ‘Oh, YEAH!’?

This bothers me.

Also: ‘Blue Whodini’? WTF?

Why, Sir?

Firstly, because he’s made of pyrex. Also in the 80’s, walls as we knew them were much softer than they are today. This has everything to do with the gradiency of sand used as mortar for said walls. 80’s sand from the southern half of Africa is a softer richer sand resulting in a more refined look and a versamilitude of cohesive quality on the overall project at the expense of strength.

The quality of current sand has much declined rather like how your grandparent’s still have those TV’s from the forties that still work but you just had to return your flatscreen to best buy last week. However this decrease in quality results in many different kinds of sands mixed together usually the most popular and cheapest. (i.e. the varieties: Cornish Brown, McAdden Pale and Corinthian White)

The mixing of these granules, unequal in size, results in a much stronger but less attractive bond. With a resistance to force of almost 3X the PPSI of 80’s sand!

This is why Kool-Aid Man no longer bursts through walls but rather enters non-chalantly through doors and windows while you slumber. He thinks you look so beautiful and peaceful while you sleep.