Shallow Intellectual

chriscantwell:

“The Beatitudes are great,” admitted Kevin Spacey, “but they’re hard to follow sometimes.” Jesus said that they were that way on purpose. Then Kevin Spacey turned around and looked at his and Jesus’ set of footprints in the sand. It was cool-looking, he thought. After awhile Jesus bought a hotdog, and so did Kevin Spacey, because he had always heard about people imitating Jesus’ ways, which sounded like a good idea, because Jesus was a nice guy. Then this muscle guy with an awesome tan came up to them, followed closely by his cute girlfriend on Rollerblades™. Of course, they asked for Kevin Spacey’s autograph and he gave it to them. He then introduced them to Jesus, to which the muscle guy responded, “Yeah, from the Gospels.”

—From Kevin Spacey and Jesus or How Kevin Spacey Came to Write the Christian Prayer “Footprints”

I wrote this when I was 16. It somehow got published in my Catholic high school newsletter.