Garbage Can Scripts – The backstory

I thought I’d fill people in who are coming to these pages a little later.

Last week I was walking from my office to the grocery store and took a shortcut through a back alley only to pass by a garbage can filled primarily with all sorts of paper (though there was plenty of disgusting other things in there as well.) Noticing that some of the top papers looked like they were in a script format (albeit crumpled) I read a page and then read another and then immediately stuffed as many as I could into my backpack because they are terrible in the absolute best way.

It’s not unusual to come across bound screenplays being thrown away in Los Angeles from time to time (especially being so close to Sony) but it is unusual to find so many loose pages tossed aside with so much disdain. I know nothing about the writer, I like to think that he’s a tortured old man desperately trying to finish a screenplay that never deserved to be written in the first place. I also like to think he smells consistently like quality pipe tobacco and cheap bourbon though that’s what I tend to think all writers are like, including the writer of the Kate Hudson vehicle ‘Fool’s Gold’ which won an award for most shirtless McConaughey.

I later went back and stole the whole damn trash can full of paper.

Because I think these are so uniquely terrible and that even bad writing deserves to be read, every day I randomly pull one page out of the many, try to make it legible by smoothing it out as much as possible, and scan and post it for the enjoyment of everyone. I don’t read ahead (even though I’m tempted to) because I want it to be this thing we kinda get to experience at the same time.

I think the writer would really like that.

He’d also probably like a Hollywood sized money bag…

What we know so far about the current pages:

One script has been ‘unearthed’ as it were, with several major characters so far:

Kevin – a scraggly homeless every-man. Who has been tied to a club called the Spider room.

James Kirkman – An expert driver (possible Satanist?)

Stardust Heartstrings – Described as being Zooey Deschanel-esque. Seems to have slept with Kirkman who then rolled her up into a rug.

Mysterious Stranger – Who likes to ride in a limo

It’s okay if none of this makes sense to you. It frequently doesn’t.

All the past pages can be found here